Hamlet’s Soliloquy Revisited

To gym, or not to gym, that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the body to suffer The fatty jiggles from outrageously delicious foods, Or to take arms against a sea of cellulite, And by opposing, end them. To gym—to sweat. Fat no more; and by a sweaty cardio machine, to say fat ends.

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The Shooting of Old Dan

It was the summer of ’89, when Madonna’s “Express Yourself” and Paula Abdul’s “Straight up” were the songs all the girls on our block wouldn’t stop singing. It was the summer my friend Devin beat up the neighborhood bum we called The Sunshine Man with a baseball bat, and the summer my older brother Eddie [...]

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